art and relationship thoughts

I didn’t finish Inktober. I kind of realized that I wasn’t putting enough effort into making good art, and I’d rather take the time to make it good. I don’t have a lot of free time currently due to work and school, but eh… That’s the way it goes sometimes.

I’ve been cleaning my ex-boyfriend stuff out of my life lately. It finally stopped being painful, so I’m able to clean out my email inbox and delete pictures and get rid of things that remind me of him. I’m also (finally) able to listen to Billy Joel again without tears. It’s just time to move on in my life, and I’m finally ready to do that. I might still miss him every now and then, but ultimately I want to be able to let someone new into my life when they come along. I have a better idea now of the kind of person I’d like to be with, and how I want to be treated. I’ve also been working on my own behavior… Being the ‘crazy ex’ is NOT fun. Thankfully, I’ve been able to move past a lot of the pain, and apologize to those who needed it (it doesn’t matter to me that they didn’t respond, I just wanted to clear the air). I’m starting over with a clean slate. It’s about time.

My advice to my future self is to find someone who’s really into me, and not just someone I’m really into. This may seem obvious, but too many guys I’ve dated were only interested in the areas we had in common, and not in what made me who I am on my own. It’s fantastic when someone takes the time to show they care about you as a whole person. When someone really likes you, it comes out in all sorts of little ways. They ask you what you think about things, and really listen, and make you feel cared for. It’s a good thing to keep in mind.

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